Blog

Well… It’s something like 500+ days since two weeks to flatten the curve. Maybe it’s ending. Maybe this is a lull. I’m not sure. As I’ve joked with many, this is my first lockdown-style pandemic. There’s lots to say, perhaps lots to criticize. But primarily, I want to say thanks.

First – Thanks to all the frontliners, essentials, and random folk who made the best of “interesting times.”

Second – Thanks to friends and family that provided support, care, and levity.

And third – Thanks to every patient who continued to come in, do the hard work, and sit through the pandemic with me.

Shared amongst all three groups was one value – connection. As social creatures, designed and/or evolved for relationship, it’s always mattered… EVEN in a pandemic.

Warmest Thoughts,

Ira

I elect to take longer showers in the morning.

I elect to try a new shave balm this fall.

I elect to check-in with those who matter to me.

I elect to pet my dog more.

I elect to try snow shoeing this winter.

But most of all –

I elect to assume the best of people,

Regardless of who they’re voting for

Listening is not the same as attacking.  Listening is not the same as defending.  Listening is not the same as reasoning.  And finally, listening is not the same as agreeing.  Listening simply seeks to understand a viewpoint, an experience, or a way of life.  Listening seeks to make connection where one did not exist.

RIP George Floyd

So… I received a notification that my website/blog had been renewed for another year and I was like, “maybe I should write something as a time stamp given the extraordinary events surrounding Covid-19.

But what to say?  And what’s the point?  As if what the world and interwebs need is one more mention of this damn virus, what it will do, how to stay safe, and how to take care of yourself.

Yesterday, I was talking to a patient about something completely unrelated to Covid, but the topic of suffering was broached.  During the conversation, I was reminded of a story from Viktor Frankl’s, Man’s Search for Meaning.  The gist, from what I remember, was Frankl knew when someone in his concentration camp would die – the moment they decided to smoke their last cigarette – numbing on the way out.

It’d be irresponsible to compare the devastation of tragedies, but it’s fair to recognize paralleling themes – themes like fear, the unknown, helplessness, loss of freedom, loss of routine, just plain ol’ loss, and suffering.

As I write, sales and consumption of alcohol have skyrocketed, marijuana dispensaries have been deemed essential and internet provides are working overtime to ensure they’re increasing capacity to meet heightened demand.  Distraction from discomfort and suffering are incredibly human.

The above isn’t the beginning of some moral invective – just a statement of facts.  We’re suffering.  We feel trapped in our suffering.  And we’re numbing and distracting as is our nature.

Frankly, this reality and reaction play out everyday.  What’s different is the acute awareness of our suffering.  I’ll come back to acute awareness later.

For now, this sucks.  Stuck in a house with four other stir-crazy humans trapped in their own suffering.  Screen time debates.  Loss of income. Isolation.  Fear of judgment, shame, or attack if you go out in any capacity and worry you may unwittingly infect someone….And that’s when The Suffering and Gratitude Olympics of Invalidation begin.

Someone states the obvious – there are others suffering more.  Another – even now there is still so much for which to be grateful.  Both are true.  Both are useless.  Further, it shames one into further isolation and suffering.  Further still, is that such forced gratitude is another mode of distraction.

What is to be done?  Perhaps this moment invites broad awareness of our suffering.  Broad awareness functions quite differently from acute awareness.  Acute awareness sees only the suffering and seeks to escape it through any means possible.  Broad awareness also sees the suffering, neither fighting or inviting it.   But broad awareness also sees what the suffering cannot control.  And most of all, broad awareness takes action in the places suffering cannot control.

So, how would one do this?  I’m afraid this would look a bit different for each person.  Below are some points of interest while in search of your own answer:

1. Be curious – about your suffering and your impulsive reactions to it.
2. Be curious – about the individual suffering of others and their reactions to it.
3. Identify the values or virtues you wish to stand for in this difficult time.
4. Notice this difficult time has had no power over what you wish to stand for.
5. What action can I still take in this moment to manifest one of my virtues toward others or myself
6. What larger action can I take during this week to manifest one of my virtues toward others or myself
7. Lather, rinse, repeat, each time being curious if you notice something in the process you didn’t notice before.

Doubting this will be read, but enjoyed writing it anyway,

Ira

I booked my annual trip to Glacier National Park this morning – this will make year 6.  It’s odd, the amazing things you miss that can be near and around you.  I grew up in the Northwest but always felt like Glacier was too much a trek for brief respite.  Now?  I refuse to miss it.

It’s my sanctuary – an oasis, a preserve, my safe place.

When I hop on I-90 I’m buzzing.  When I cross into Montana all the bullshit begins to fall away.  And when I take my first look across Lake McDonald I’m at ease.

To the few who come across this site, I hope you have your own safe place to visit.  If not, perhaps this is the year to find one.